Montag, 28. September 2015

How to expand your vocabulary: 5 easy steps

Trying to expand your vocabulary? Not particularly easy, I know.. I've been trying to expand my English vocab for about a year now and I thought I'd share my tips with you:)) Hope this helps!

Montag, 9. Juni 2014

anorexia, bulimia & co. - eating disorder..?

Sometimes it hits me - the fact that I'll probably will never be able to eat like I used to.

I can't remember clearly how I used to eat. All I know is that things were not always like they are now.
I remember that I did not use to worry about all the things I ate after a meal. I just ate whatever I wanted to and then I moved on.. and I did not waste another thought about the bolus that was then being churned by my stomach. I just forgot about it and if you asked me what I ate a couple of hours ago, I would not have been able to tell you. I also did not use to get bloated; I ate and ate and ate.. but my stomach seemed to stay flat.

Since (maybe) two years everything is different. I don't seem to forget the calories of the groceries I consume on a day to day basis. I worry about a meal before I ingest it, while I'm ingesting it, and after I've ingested it. I find myself summing up everything I ate multiple times during a day. I cannot even control it, it just happens. I always try to imagine what is sitting in my stomach at that very moment and how much longer it will take until it will be released into my duodenum. Whenever my stomach grumbles I try to find out what could be causing that noise, and what is happening in my digestive tract.
I get bloated after every meal, and most of the times the bloating does not go away, even if I don't eat anything for many hours. Actually, I'm constantly bloated. Doctors keept telling me that I'm suffering from a "pancreas inflammation", and that they can't help me. They annoy me so much.
I don't even know how many thoughts and how much time I spend on thinking about ingestion, gaining weight, losing weight, maintaining weight, digestion, nutrition, calories.. And honestly, my knowledge about all this shit just scares me.

Even though I actually don't want to lose weight any more, I'm still afraid of gaining.. I'm also still afraid of certain foods and I need to push myself all the time to eat those things..

Fortunately, it has gotten a lot better, and that gives me hope to stay strong. I just want this nightmare to finally come to an end. Being obsessed with food and weight is so exhausting, and basically just a total waste of time.

Montag, 5. Mai 2014

That Girl

(this is one of my first imaginary stories)

My name is Kevin, I’m 17 years old and a typical high school student. My life basically consists of studying, eating and sleeping. Until a month ago, I experienced every day in the same shade of grey. It didn’t even really bother me, to be honest, because I didn’t know how different things could be.
            I remember the exact date. It was the 21st of February. I sat on my usual spot in the school bus. Just like on every other day of the week, the seat next to me was not taken, because all of my friends always come to school with their own car.
I listened to “Penny Lane” and watched the raindrops dripping down the window. I remembered how, when I was a kid, I used to think that the raindrops were racing down the surface against each other. Just in that moment I felt how someone sat down next to me, a phenomenon that I’ve never experienced before. Before I was able to get a glance at the person, I inhaled this particular scent. It immediately reminded me of the forest; the scent of the forest during autumn. Without turning my head around, I tried to figure out who this person so close to me was. It was a girl; a girl I’ve never seen before, otherwise I surely would have remembered. Her perfectly applied red lipstick was the first thing to catch my eye. I also got a glimpse of her straight, shoulder-long, almost white hair. She was dressed completely in black, and her legs were so skinny, that a strong wind could probably carry her away like Mary Poppins.
            From that day on she sat next to me during the ride to school every morning. There always was an unobtrusive smile on her face, as she entered the bus and looked at me. During lunchtime I never saw her eating. She spent her break writing in a black notebook, while sitting on the lawn, leaning against the ancient oak-tree. I’d give anything to read whatever she was writing down.
            After two weeks I decided that I needed to hear her voice. I simply could not take it any Ionger. I wanted to get to know her, figure out what she was writing about, and what kind of music she listened to. I ceaselessly dreamed of her ever since I saw her for the first time on that rainy morning. While I ate my breakfast, I prepared myself mentally, and put some phrases together that I could say to her. I settled for a simple “Hi, how is it going?”, and felt a bit sweaty as I got on the bus. She would enter 4 stops after me, and I was excited to see her ravishing smile and the spark in her eyes. When we finally reached her stop, I turned my head to the door and waited to catch sight of her, but I could not see her anywhere. The doors closed again, and the bus drove on. I could not believe it. I told myself that she must have missed the bus, and that I would certainly see her during lunch break. I would just walk up to her then.
            Impatiently, I waited for math class to be over, and to finally hear the bell. As soon as it rang I got up, and walked straight to the big oak-tree. I spent lunch break waiting for her, but she did not show up. I started to suspect that something was not right. Just like she appeared out of nowhere that rainy morning, she must have left again. And I was right. I never saw her again.
            Nobody knew anything about her. Nobody knew where she came from, or what her name was. Nobody ever heard her voice.
            The picture of her in my head is slowly falling apart, and I can’t remember her scent anymore. I don’t know what the colour of her eyes was. I only remember her perfect red lips and the expression on her face when she was writing.
Her appearance was too pure to be real. It feels as if she was just an illusion; an illusion I do not want to let go. 

Mittwoch, 26. Februar 2014

Who I am

There has been this insane thought flowing through my brain for a long time. I can’t believe that finally write it down; make it visible for others; make it permanent. But it simply feels as if I exactly know who I am. I know that everybody says it takes you a lifetime to discover who you truly are – and here I am, a 17 year-old girl, convinced of her personality.

I might really be the blond girl with the red lipstick, who likes to stay at home, studying with countless candles surrounding her. I am the girl who feels miserable whenever she notices that she won’t ever be a ballerina, or whenever she discovers that her French is not as good as she wish it was.
I am the girl who feels most comfortable in Starbucks, sipping on her Americano, or browsing in the library. I am the girl who collects mugs and good music. I am the girl who strives for intelligence and who feels fulfilled while reading, or writing.

I discovered that I can finally stop trying to be the beautiful, or the skinny, or the popular girl. I don’t care about the superficial world any more because it has never satisfied me in the past, and won’t either do so in the future. 

Samstag, 30. November 2013

The Ban of Anorexic Models

Today it is impossible not to look at super skinny-models. Whether it is a poster, commercial, or fashion magazine, thin women are on every media surface.

What many people do not know is that mannequins did not use to be so thin. They used to have voluptuous, curvy body shapes. For example, Marilyn Monroe was the major role model for young women. Only with Twiggy, the starving British model, skinny mania started.

Being confronted with these bony creatures 24/7 makes many teenage girls, and also boys, feel insecure about their bodies. 7 out of 10 girls in 5th – 12th grade reported that magazine pictures influenced their idea of a perfect body shape. Additionally every second girl admitted wanting to lose weight because she compared herself to the models on these pictures.

The teenage years are a though stage in life. For many adolescents it is already hard enough to accept and love themselves, without the media bombarding them with false images of too thin models. These photos make it even unthinkable for youths to be satisfied with their bodies. In some cases it is even considered vain to feel comfortable in one’s own skin, and showing it to others.
Another impact that the media makes is the rising rate of eating disorders. Especially anorexia and bulimia are far more common than they used to be. Research suggests that about 1 percent of juvenile females suffer from anorexia – without the dark figure.
Designers claim that their fashion is presented best on emaciated girls, but promise that they will only employ healthy ones. Due to that, all the clothes they sew for a fashion show are extremely small. For example, models walking for Chanel may only have a maximum hip measurement of 88 cm. Only scrawny, starved women are in possession of the required dimensions.
Fortunately new fashion companies have been founded. They are trying to ban anorexic models from the catwalks in the world. However, influential individuals from the fashion industry like Karl Lagerfeld, or Anna Wintour will not change their opinion. It seems like the world will have to wait for a new generation of creative geniuses to make a change in the fashion industry, or perhaps a new Marilyn Monroe.

Dienstag, 12. November 2013

Why I Love Starbucks

No matter where I am on the planet, I always feel at home in Starbucks. Despite that the baked goods vary in each country, the coffee and atmosphere is the same all over the world. A lot of my friends like Starbucks as well, but none of them really understand why Starbucks makes me feel so ecstatic.
On stressful days, visiting the nearest Starbucks location helps me a great deal. As soon as I open the door, enter the shop, and smell the sent of freshly ground coffee beans, I feel completely relaxed. Standing in line calms me down. While I am waiting for my order, I realize that I worry too much about things I can’t change, and that unnecessary stress is neither good for my body, nor for my soul.
I also love going to Starbucks when I have a bad day. Then I will supposably order a cup of tea instead of my usual Americano. It seems to me that these little magical bags sitting in boiling water have the aptitude to make everything better. I will snatch a big, comfy armchair and lounge in it with a good book and my headphones. If my mug is empty I just take my Starbucks Card and the barista will give me another cup of liquid happiness for free.
If I don’t feel like reading, people-watching is another great activity. I like to wonder what another person thinks at that very moment, and if he or she is happy. Eavesdropping on conversations amuses me, too.
Of course, I like going to the famous coffee shop on good days as well. Bringing friends along, and recommending my favorite drinks to them, is something I enjoy. I consider it the best place to talk about life and exchange news. Especially during wintertime, my friends and I treasure their classic hot chocolate after our Christmas gift-shopping tour. When the weather is warmer, we savor Frappucchinos outside in the sunshine.
Starbucks is definitely one of my favorite places on Earth, independent on where I am. The only negative aspect is, that, if they ever closed their shops, I’d be in serious trouble.

Dienstag, 7. Mai 2013

Spring Fashion! - Shoes

Hey guys!
So I decided to start a series called Spring Fashion :D
Basically I just wanted to show you my fashion picks for this season.. So today I thought I would start with shoes because I am so in love with my spring shoes!

First we have to talk about Keds.. My addiction for those sneakers started some years ago.. I think my collection has grown to 6 pairs so far :D I could literally walk for days in those shoes which is not normal for me because my feet are pretty sensitive and I tend to get blisters very quickly! Not with these babies ;D
For spring I love them in beige..  I am still trying really hard not to get them dirty! ;)

Moving on with another pair of sneakers.. Chucks! I never really got the hype with those shoes.. I mean I always thought they were pretty and stuff but yeah I kind of always sticked to my Keds ;) Not this spring.. I fell in love with their spring collection and especially with the mint ones.. 
So I have to be honest and admit that I got blisters but they are so freakin adorable that I chose not to care about that ;D Now after wearing them a couple of times my feet are totally fine with them :)

Next up are two pairs of more elegant shoes.. Shoes that I personally don't wear every day.

First a absolutely stunning pair of flats. My favourite pair I every owned actually!
They are made of patent leather I think. Which is also why they hurt me I little but that's the price you've got to pay if you like shiny shoes that will keep their shape ;D 
I got them at Aldo's in Barcelona. There was a special offer going on and I only had to pay 40 Euros which is still a lot but I think I would have paid even more because they are just perfect for my taste :D 

The next pair are really dressy shoes and I mostly only wear them for special occasions. They are also made of patent leather.. There is just a thing about this material that makes me go crazy I guess :D
I bought them last year for my conformation and they weren't super expensive.. I think I paid 80 CHFs or something in that price range.. 
When I saw them inside the store I had to constantly think about them for a whole week and I even started to draw them because I couldn't find a picture online >.< That's how obsessed I am with shoes.. So when that week was over I just went to the store during lunch break and got them :D
I am really looking forward to my next big event simply because I want to wear them so badly again!

So I think that's it :D
If you have any questions about any of those pairs just let me know in the comments and I will be happy to answer them!

I hope you enjoyed it!

xoxo, Tina